Loki must have that content ‘gotcha’ smirk all over his visage, the animal.1 Because the RMR crew had these senseless deliberations yet again. And it’s all about the need for a ‘worst album of the year’ list. Yeah, that kind of thing. The reply from management – as always – is the same. RMR won’t usually push negative reviews for the simple reason that manpower and time available don’t sync. There’s an abundance of material to choose from, true. But only 24 hours in a day, and we’d add the night if we had to. So, what would you have us unpaid writer slaves rather do? Roar about the worst or concentrate on trve talent? The choice is simple.
But here we came across a very special specimen and we’re gonna find out if it’s any good at all, unless others that came before it. So damn all, we’re going for it. But there’s fear that this is going to be ugly.
And that’s the word coming to mind once Reuscher‘s Megaton Leviathan lets loose with Magick Helmet. A crazed medley of wailing guitars, pounding bass that sounds like a migraine, and mad stick wielding seemingly instructed by The Muppets’ very own Animal greet you right from the start. And we’re not sure if Kermit or Miss Piggy lurk somewhere backstage, either. This – thing sounds like a disjointed jam session from hell that came about during an LSD overdose. Imagine the friggin’ video you could make with them colorful visions right there.
And this whole drone disaster is devoid of vocals that were still present on Mage. Even if some distant screams seemed to emerge from far-off places at times. That usually turns an album into a no-go for this here crew. But because its predecessor had ‘vocals’, we will turn a blind eye to that little juicy fact for once. Exceptions confirm the rulez, right?
Sadly, the guitars often sound like some 9-year-old who got ahold of his uncle’s beloved Fender and is now destroying it. The same goes for the inept use of the wah-wah and the harsh fuzz slathered all across the soundscape. Riffs and licks on endless repeat won’t help the quality either. And no, just revisiting the same theme over and over again won’t improve matters. It will neither generate this dreaded atmosphere of doom ‘n’ gloom nor will it relate to any of the ‘gaze or industrial substyles in metal.
In other words, a lot of that stuff on offer is just blatant noize and psychedelics on a runaway train without much rhyme or reason. And whilst some of that ominous jambalaya is hypnotic to a point, this ensemble from hell fails to generate the intended groove. You indeed need to don the proverbial Magick Helmet – and fast. To have a fleeting chance to get through this record with your ears and sanity intact.
In the end, the record often squeaks away like a rusty dryer in overdrive – and that’s not a pretty thought. I guess, the simplistic songwriting and an abundance of ideas created this chaotic piece of work as these items collide with each other. An almost cosmic accident on overdrive like a particle collider from rotten Metaltown. However and to its credit, Magick Helmet picks up some steam towards the end with the 28-minute behemoth Helios Creeds Magick Helmet. Out of the dark yonder, some drone appears, a bit of ‘gaze here and there, and even a hint of groove in a more or less coherent atmosphere. Suddenly, all of those promises the promo dude made seem to get some credence after all.
And it’s this track that prevented the record from being awarded the first-ever 0/10 rating. Now, to spin the thought a bit further, perhaps Megaton Leviathan should have ditched all the other atrocities and – instead – should have gone for an EP with one giant track. 28 minutes of more or less coherent cosmic rage. That would indeed have made a huge difference. But then, this is just me thinking aloud. We wouldn’t want to encroach on this artistic freedom thing, now, would we?
Record Rating: 2/10 | Label: Volatile Rock Recordings | Web: Official Band Site
Release Date: 8 December 2023
- The jester is having fun whilst we do battle with this here record, more likely. -Ed.-↩