The RMR crew literally had to sift through 72 Seasons of Metallica‘s miscarriages of album art for them to finally hit a new low. We already suffered through things like the piss and blood covers on the Load / Reload series. But this one is the most awful vinyl sheath ever to appear on a metal album.1 I mean, scorched items, including a wrecked crib and miscellaneous instruments on a bright canary-yellow background. That’s like a migraine on painted cardboard. If the folks over at Metallica wanted to annoy everyone and provoke reactions, then – hells bells – mission fucking accomplished. This band has been seriously yellowed, like them long-gone admirals back in the old British Navy. Or am I just being St. Angered? Slushy lemonade in the making.
Being comfortably late lets us – as always – check other opinions first on 72 Seasons. And sure enough, the usual culprits of happy yeasayers schmoozed the hell out of this latest Metallica piece. Whereas the sturdier folks of the underground, the ones unfaced by corporate pressures of the music giants out there, got the piece a much more critical, if not outright catastrophic ranking. But I really liked the incredulous and frankly fallacious comments of some, stating that one should not review a record when the outcome is negative. Welcome yer echo chamber and celebrate yer bubble. May no vile critique touch the metal gawds ye worship. Well, being critical is what reviews are all about. But I digress.
Well, once 72 Seasons, the title track, takes off, you’re firmly in Metallica country. With good ol’ James Hetfield in great form belting lustily away. And that’s one helluva great example of how well his voice is holding up. He’s no fresh-minted twenty anymore after all. The track itself is one sturdy, speedy thrash song – exactly how you would expect Metallica to perform.
And so it is indeed for them. Back to the roots, a journey down memory lane to the beginnings of true heavy metal music. And same as bands like AC/DC, we would never expect Metallica to change style or posture. Instead, much of the same will be of the order with a few corrections. And that’s what rumbles our way because this is the metal fare that turned this band into one of the biggest and best-known metal outfits in the world.
And do you know why the latest (and probably the last) of the aforementioned AC/DC cuts got pretty high praise over here? It’s because of the unctuous groove Phil Rudd continually injected with his drumsticks. And it is what it is, the drummer often provides that glue necessary to keep it all together for a record. Interestingly, Lars Ulrich‘s drumming often eerily moved in that direction, but it never quite made it to the real groove. Don’t get me wrong, it ain’t all that bad. Metallica here deliver loads of crisp and pretty aggressive stickfare. It’s just nothing to write to mama about.
72 Seasons – as almost all records before them – sports a great rhythm section. And that ain’t no surprise really, Hetfield is one of the best rhythm guitarists out there. Now, I heard evil rumors that it was the rhythm man doing the solos, too. And there are some great ones spattered all about the album. That bears the question, what was Kirk Hammett‘s role here? But for now, our lack of insight into the band’s inner workings won’t allow the RMR folks over at the review desk to answer that question. We’ll put a pin in that for later.
Now, let’s address the elephant in the room. 72 Seasons sports a whopping 77 minutes of airtime.2 It’s fair to say that every track carries enough slack to lose some 2-3 minutes easily. To top it, the wretched 11-minute epos Inamorata – the one that almost bored me to tears – should probably have become a late-night victim of the dreaded carving knife. The record’s also prone to endless repetitions with a tracklist that contains – by definition – relatively similar song structures. So, despite all that energy the lead vocalist musters, that just turns this yellow bedlam into a truly heavy listen.
Now, that’s not to say that 72 Seasons is devoid of highlights. The aforementioned title track positively shines with that Metallica spirit we’ve grown to love. Lux Aeterna is a true speed-laden scorcher. Only, it won’t even make it to the 3 1/2 minute mark. If Darkness Had a Son sports some of that aforementioned groove and truly great rhythm, plus one of the sturdiest solos on here. And – finally – this is the one that lets you appreciate Robert Trujillo‘s steady and rock-solid performance.
So, where does this lead us? 72 Seasons truly didn’t wake up the Top 10 Records aficionados over here at RMR. Instead, we found ourselves with a run-of-the-mill thrash record. Rock solid to a point, proficient, well-produced, with a few snazzy highlights. But – sadly – the record doesn’t sport the bite Hardwired undeniably displayed. The record nonetheless deserves a better fate than some of the truly catastrophic verdicts that some of our reviewers’ brethren foisted upon the band. But, sadly, this record will never be that shining beacon that sticks out like a sore thumb from a truly impressive track record of one of the biggest metal bands out there. Gaudy colors notwithstanding.
Yellowed lemonade indeed.
Ed’s note: Hazzerd would like a word. They don’t quite like lemonade in their thrash, it seems.
Record Rating: 5/10 | Label: Blackened Recordings | Web: Official Band Site
Release Date: 14 April 2023
Hells bells indeed, not sure what they were thinking on this new cover.