It’s almost funky to see how the n00b carousel over at the RMR office tower is starting to spin. Testament started their career in 1987, and boy, were we young then. This is a band of true heavy music pioneers, and they’ve been at it ever since, serving the sick urges of generations of metalheads.
So, here’s a band that – yet again – never even appeared on RMR’s roster. But there’s a first time for every act in this world, and that makes them a n00b over here. So, without judging their past, we’ll see what these greybeards will provide to that succulent metal platter we usually serve. They’re on the warpath after all, and fittingly called their newest piece Para Bellum.1 What’s it gonna be? Stale and overused American mainstream BBQ or trve red-hot vile metal of the filet kind? Break out that cook’s beanie and get roaring. This better be good. Nothing coming from the US impresses us much these days. So, surprise us!
Testament loudly tout to be the supreme masters of Thrash Metal. They call themselves the – and I quote – “…Bay Area thrash metal icons…” on their own website.2 And that, when they actually deliver a mix of Thrash and Melodic Death Metal with a slightly Scandinavian inclination. I have heard them compared to the likes of Metallica.3 A statement that yours truly would take as an insult if I were Testament. The late heroes of the yellow album cover for sure have lost a lot of their luster lately. Even when the Grammys seem to think otherwise. Try Slayer, Anthrax, or – maybe – Annihilator4, and some strange inclinations towards Cattle Decapitation. That’s the level of brutality that we are looking for.
And I gotta give it to them. Para Bellum‘s first track For the Love of Pain already rumbles off with a slightly blackened vengeance. Otherworldly riffing, neat pacing, but not the fastest one. Thrash, Death Metal, and tremolo-laden Black Metal compete with those death growls and devilish rasps. Together with a melodic rash added on top of all that vile regurgitation, Testament just created a first banger. So, encouragement soared over at the RMR Review Desk. Dreams of a new king of the top 10 list started to emerge, that kind of thing. And the old geezers over there shouldn’t have done that.
Because the second track, Infanticide A.I., already took it down a few notches. This blurb indeed does dispense excellent and smooth thrash in the old(ish), home-grown fashion. Stuff that we know all too well already. Raw, speedy, well-executed, and zinged over the loudspeakers with a ferocious energy. And that’s impressive for such an old band. Shadow People still stings hard to some extent. But after that, the fury somehow fades, and you’ll get more mainstream fare right down the tracklist. Perhaps, except for Room 117. That one’s a nostalgic piece that made them geezers dream again. Not of stellar listings, mind you. But of times long gone to tatters when Thrash Metal was young and the future looked bright. The second half of the track with its solo and drawn-out groove, really made our day.
Ultimately, the band5 called Para Bellum “… a masterclass in dynamic thrash songwriting.” And there’s some truth in that. This band knows how to write good-to-great metal, no contest. Of the kind that will throw a lot of red meat to a long-established fanbase, a bit like those acolytes of the Circus Maximus back in Roman times. However, the album is also and yet again a mixed bag of sorts. True gems suddenly make their appearance. But all of that excellence is brutally squished with dime-a-dozen material. Still of pretty high standards, but not something that would really rip us out of our seats.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Testament are better than most. But judging by what we hear on this record without regard to their illustrious past, Para Bellum turned into a good album with a long way to get (back) to the ethereal planes great bands dwell in.
Dream’s over.
Record Rating: 6/10 | Label: Nuclear Blast | Web: Official Band Site
Release Date: 10 October 2025
- The Odd Footnote!
- Meaning, prepare for war. Yet another boneheaded act calling for lethal action. A thing they don’t understand. Prove me wrong. -Ed.-↩
- Gotta be American to know that this means San Francisco. Just sayin’. -Ed.-↩
- A band with diminishing returns in full swing. -Ed.-↩
- You know, the world-famous Canadians.-↩
- Or whoever wrote that vile self-praise on Testament’s website. -Ed.-↩