Ouch. “500 years ago when I was born, I crawled from the womb with a drinking horn…”. Oh my, Christopher Bowes giving birth to himself just takes things to the next level.
Treasure Chest Party Quest from their upcoming album Curse of the Crystal Coconut is about the silliest piece that whizzed across my earphones in 2020. But I admit, Alestorm in pseudo-Balkan tracksuit attire singing that getting drunk will make you stinking rich just reduced me to helpless mirth. This thing is so full of epic clichés, I almost had a heart attack. Not that this band’s former offerings didn’t contain any, but this blurb takes the cake.
And they stole scarily from the territories Hip-Hop usually usurps. No, not the music. Alestorm firmly stayed where Power Metal belongs. But they copied this manic obsession to display fake wealth in clunky colors of the nouveaux-riches. Drugs, money, guns and bitches, all spread out for ye.
And yes, I know that the keyboardist loves his garish red keyboard. Just don’t touch it, you never know where his hands have just been.
Well, fact is that Alestorm are questing again, with no boats in sight this time. And the clip is indeed a lot of (quite horrid) fun. Treasure Chest Party Quest happens when pirates lose their wooden ships and enter the free world. We’re still laughing. But enough said.
So, here’s to a new-age piece of Pirate Metal: