At first, the RMR crew thought that 2025 wouldn’t support yet another worthy year-end list of lamestream n00bs. In RMR Office Tower speak, this means old, established rock and metal bands with some influence on the industry appearing for the first time on this zine. Yup, you heard this right. Even after all these years and around 1’200 reviews in total, we still find revered rock stars that haven’t yet passed the smell test over here. But let’s face it. A lot of our focus was on the vile underground, and the woozy old geezers at the Review Desk had an aversion to what is commonly called the mainstream. Turns out, this year has also been rife with worthy candidates as well, some of which made it onto this obscure list.
So, in no particular order, we march.1
Vintersorg – Vattenkrafternas Spel
Oh boy. The fanboi accounts of many a critic spoke of ethereal and outstandingly crafted Extreme Metal. Rust-free alloys that could stand the rigorous climatic conditions of the far North, to serve as a powerful beacon for the lost metal traveller. A long and august list of stunning past records should be thy witness, that kind of thing. And that might indeed be so for some, but for this record, the RMR crew begs to differ. True, the delivery is pig-headed, often raw, and full of pretty outstanding moments. On the other hand, the production turned into a monolithic beast, plagued by circular songwriting, and truly annoying programming of drums and “…FX..”, whatever that may be. So, no, this piece didn’t quite sync with this crew here. 5/10.
Helloween – Giants & Monsters
The RMR crew truly expected some weak-tea Power Metal lamestream piece full of good ol’ déja-vu and a gazillion stereotypes. What else, right? The folks over at Helloween have been at it for way too many decades. Old and tired, that’s what they’re supposed to be. Too weak to get one single riff right or to hit them high notes with gusto. But lo and behold, the RMR crew for sure didn’t expect the mighty thunderclap that was roaring towards us. It was a bit like the proverbial freight train. Only this time, it got us good. Crushed RMR witnessed the merciless arrival of giants and monsters. Delivered in a tour-de-force of ferocious Power Metal. Crisp, fast, furious, and permeated with a thunderous energy we hardly see with younger bands these days. Stellar. 8/10.
Sabaton – Legends
How can it be that a dime-a-dozen Power Metal piece from a truly established band can still get into our good graces? We’re not quite certain, either. Especially when we expected some truly lame lamestream to appear on our turntable. Instead, members of the crew were found singing along with them soaring themes that are abundantly available on this record. I reckon stellar songsmithing, a fine production, and a cartload of infectious energy did the trick. And in truth, you cannot really deny them; they’re just too good at what they do. Shortcomings be damned. 6/10.
Bergthron – Neu Asen Land
They’ve been around. Around the harshest wastes this planet can cough up. But they also puttered around the metal multiverse since 1994. And for once, this ain’t no supergroup turned pillar of the metal multiverse. Instead, this is about a bunch of explorers having a mind to rap about their life experiences and the mystical findings they brought back. And it’s this authenticity, this pig-headed willingness to express themselves in their very own, gnarly ways that got them on this list. Bergthron is proof positive that any band can succeed without paying heed to the whims of the Godz ov Metal. And for that, they deserve a prize. 7/10.
Testament – Para Bellum
Their website praises Testament as metal icons, true leaders of the Thrash world, and heroes of the Bay Area. I daresay, this kind of self-praise did raise a few eyebrows over at the RMR office tower. And the question is, are they Metal Angels ov Wrath, as the album cover so proudly suggests? Testament know their shit, and they run a slick ‘n’ mean brand of melodic death-ridden Thrash Metal. But did it rip us out of our comfy seats? Actually, nah. Their metal’s good and some is better than most. But it won’t jolt us awake at 3 am to get to one of their concerts on time. 6/10.
The Odd Footnote!
- Like the American forces when they have to do a military parade they dislike.-↩