Helloween – Giants & Monsters (2025) – Review

Helloween - Giants & Monsters - Album Cover

It happened at last. Helloween‘s newest concoction, Giants & Monsters, successfully made it onto our review pipe after all those years. The grandads of the Metal o’ The Light finally obtained lamestream n00b status over at the RMR Review Desk. Meaning, despite their verified existence since 1983 and their undisputed influence on the shaping of Ze Art ov Power Metal in general, the band never officially landed a review over at the office tower. The culprit holding us back usually was those slippery, pinkish, sugar-laden surfaces slathered in molten cheese that got in the way. But things changed, and

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No Shelter. – Remission/Resolve (2025) – Review

No Shelter. - Remission / Resolve - Album Cover

Ready for a secret from the RMR office? Choices of what or what not to review are sometimes driven by mood. Specifically, by bad mood. And this time, the RMR crew still finds itself on a never-ending cold turkey trip. Abrupt removal from the beach and its delights does that to us, and it turns us into grumpy and cantankerous bitches.

So, what better idea than to waltz down some psycho-punk horror lane straight into the smelly puddles lining the metal underground? ‘Xactly, none whatsoever. A place where sanity flies out the door and is replaced by the dredges of … [...] Click to raid more!

Madder Mortem – Old Eyes, New Heart (2024) – Review

Madder Mortem - Old Eyes, New Heart - Album Cover

Madder Mortem‘s Old Eyes, New Heart is one of those records. A piece that released early in 2024, but for some reason always kept harassing us at the back of our mutual subconscious. The band has been around since 1997 under the current moniker, but for some reason, the act never clicked with the RMR crew here. Well, let’s just blame it on the inconsistent release schedule, shall we? The last record aired back in 2018 after all.

But what really and always pulled us back from launching a all-out review were the glowing reviews this piece got from … [...] Click to raid more!

Castrator – Coronation of the Grotesque (2025) – Review

Castrator - Coronation of the Grotesque - Album Cover

Castrator. The Death Metal band that didn’t quite make it onto our roster back in 2022 with their dime-a-dozen Extreme Metal regurgitation, Defiled in Oblivion. ‘Lost in the boonies, way too far into the mainstream, not much to see here..’, the old geezers at the review desk screamed. And for cause. In the run-up to this here review, the RMR crew listened to their debut record all over again. Old opinions duly confirmed.

Bears the question: Will their newest concoction, Coronation of the Grotesque, move past the sophomore slump AND excel in extended abject brutality? Down-in-the-pit … [...] Click to raid more!