Alestorm – Seventh Rum of A Seventh Rum (2022) – Review

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Do you know Mallorca, the sunny island in the warm Mediterranean sea? A haven for cheap mass tourism and a modern Tortuga for the good ol’ booze-crazed party folk. And it’s also the questionable home of the Ballermann (for the Germans) or Magaluf (for you Brits reading this), seedy miles of artificial glitzy fun that spawned their very own gaudy pop stars. I kid you not.

The only thing that’s missing is probably a very own Alestorm Pirate Bar or something. A place to boost your moonshine-guzzling savvy up to that famed seventh rum. A tasty new opportunity for an … [...] Click to raid more!

Alestorm – Curse of the Crystal Coconut (2020) – Review

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Aw, Njord have merci on my blackened cold metal soul. I just listened a few times to the Curse of the Crystal Coconut, Alestorm‘s latest bag of goodies. And now my head is spinning.

Well, our famous Scottish pirates are at it again, ever questing about the wide-open seas as swiftly as the fair winds allow. Albeit that a few signs of aging become all but too apparent throughout the record.

Now, Sunset on The Golden Age and No Grave but the Sea were true steam machines. They gorged with golden ideas and truly funny and irresistible lines … [...] Click to raid more!

Video: Treasure Chest Party Quest by Alestorm!

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Ouch. “500 years ago when I was born, I crawled from the womb with a drinking horn…”. Oh my, Christopher Bowes giving birth to himself just takes things to the next level.

Treasure Chest Party Quest from their upcoming album Curse of the Crystal Coconut is about the silliest piece that whizzed across my earphones in 2020. But I admit, Alestorm in pseudo-Balkan tracksuit attire singing that getting drunk will make you stinking rich just reduced me to helpless mirth. This thing is so full of epic clichés, I almost had a heart attack. Not that this band’s former [...] Click to raid more!

Incursed – Amalur (2017) – Review

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The blasted July 2017 EP The Slavic Covenant of Incursed did not impress the RMR deck crew. Too many oldies and not enough goodies, I can tell ya. Bands need to produce new, awesome material that is unique and people will want to hear. Not endlessly regurgitate old stuff or go for weird pop covers.

The mighty Symphonic Metal front chicks from Exit Eden recently tried to pull that pop cover stunt as well. The outcome was – well – bizarre to say the least. With tracks ranging from juvenile wet dreams to age-old pop disasters that we all hoped [...] Click to raid more!